Friday, March 04, 2005

Correctional News

Martha Stewart got out of jail and we are about to get a tsunami of stories dealing with her. Before this thing gets going let's put some predictions on the table about the sort of things we'll be reading about in the future.
  1. Martha's Jailhouse Diary will be put up for bid for the major New York publishing houses.
  2. Martha's company, Omnimedia, will extend it's empire to include retreats for the wealthy. Rich people with guilty consciences will spend lavishly to be confined in prison-like settings. Weight loss will be one of the primary goals.
  3. Martha will announce a key hire in her company. A fellow inmate at the Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia so impressed Ms. Stewart that another employee was moved out to make room.
  4. In an effort to normalize Stewart's misdeeds, Omnimedia will require all of it's board members to have a criminal record.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do the following people have in common? Art Roberts, Barney Pip, Dick Biondi, Bernie Allen, Bob Collins, Bob Dearborn, Bob Sirott, John Landecker, Clark Weber, Dex Card, Dick Shannon, Don Geronimo, Larry Lujack, Fred Winston, Howard Miller, Jim Stagg, Joel Sebastian, Jonathan Brandmeier, Kris Stevens, Robert Murphy, Ron Britain, Don Phillips, Ron Riley, Steve Dahl & Garry Meier, Wally Phillips.

Well, the answer is they all advocated the violent overthrow of the United States. No wait, that's another list. This is a list of famous and not so famous Chicago DJ's from the 1960's - 1980's. Why do I put this list here? Do you have a better suggestion?

2:49 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

I hope everyone knows that radio DJs names are mostly made up in order to appeal to the audience. That said, the process of re-naming one's self went seriously off the rails with Dex Card, Don Geronimo and Barney Pip. Aliterative names are too easy--Ron Riley and Larry Lujack. Some of the names are plausible--Bob Sirott, Steve Dahl and Jonathan Brandmeir. The names that have a Chicago connection show that they are trying too hard and so we must assume that they are made up--Jim Stagg and Bob Dearborn. Radio DJs want to be like your best friend and so they choose names to sound friendly--like Barney, Bernie and Bob. Some on the list cleaned up their act and went into news and talk such as Wally Phillips and Howard Miller where two Ls proved to be the difference. Now the only radio personality from Chicago that anyone knows is Ira Glass and for him they gave up on naming games.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So are any of these DJ's corporate criminals? If she's looking for Chicago entertainers who broke the rules, but may not be criminals could she have Sammy Sosa who broke his bat?

4:51 PM  

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